The Tuesday Communique 05.28.13: And Now We Move Forward

The DeMarco Files 5.24.13 with Greg De Marco
The Wrestling News Experience with Stephen Randle
Smart Marks 5.25.13: Quick Breaks with Dino Zuko
The Wrestling 5&1: Paige vs. Candice Michelle! with Greg De Marco
The Professional 3: Top 3 Underrated Macho Man Moments with Jon Harder
The Heel Report: Not So Extreme with James Wright
The Piledriver Report: The History of Vince McMahon’s Wrestling Empire: Part 18 with Ronny Sarnecky
Ask 411 Wrestling: Attitude Era, Backstage Attitude, Personal Attitude and More! with Mathew Sforcina

WWE Monday Night RAW from Calgary, AB || TV Review
John Cena starts us off to the usual chorus of boos and then an undercurrent of whistles and booing. Kinda odd-sounding, actually. Cena talks about the non-finish of his match as the crowd chants “We Want Bret”, and it’s the only reason I realize they’re in Calgary, as Cena acknowledges it. He makes fun of Ryback, and is showing no ill-effects from his bad fall at the PPV. He says that they need to have a Three Stages of Hell match, with a Lumberjack match, Tables match and the already challenged-for Ambulance match. Really? A lumberjack match? Ryback finally comes out as the crowd chants “Goldberg” at him. They really need to figure out a way to get them to stop that. He calls himself a number of different iterations of the devil while the crowd “WHAT?”s him to death, and then walks away to the RAW theme. That was SO epic. Absolutely gets me excited for their rematch. Looks like it’s accepted. Paul Heyman decides to grab some of the spotlight for himself and Curtis Axel, challenging Cena to a match against Axel tonight. Cena obviously accepts, and it’s on for later. I wonder how he’s going to be ignored to end that match.

Alberto Del Rio v. Big E Langston
I continue to be disappointed with Big E’s Del Rio ducks a clothesline and hits a dropkick early. He dodges a charge and low bridges Langston out of the ring with a suicide dive. Big E takes control and tosses him back inside as they plug the WWE app, with Ziggler talking about Big E beating people up. Why can’t they do that in an actual segment? I guess it’s silly for me to think that they should actually feature the champion on the show. Langston misses a charge in the corner and takes a backstabber. He blocks the cross armbreaker but ends up in it anyway after AJ’s failed interference. Big E powers out but gets pushed into the turnbuckle AJ exposed and gets pinned with a rollup. He walks out on her as she tries to apologize. Match was fine, but fucking seriously… the World Champ is featured only in a plug for the app? I know he can’t travel, but that’s fucking stupid. Del Rio def. Langston, school boy – 5 min, **

Kane and Daniel Bryan argue backstage and Bryan is still obsessed with feeling like he’s the weak link of the team. They argue back and forth until Bret Hart interrupts and tells them to stop it. He tells Bryan the exact same thing that Kane told him, and Bryan actually believes him. That offends Kane, who asks why. Bryan’s answer: “Bret Hart is the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. And you’re just… Kane”. Ouch, Daniel. Ouch. That’s actually the first thing that they’ve done that gives Kane a reason to actually turn heel. Not that it’s going to lead to it, but at least it’s a start.

US Title: Dean Ambrose v. Kofi Kingston
Kofi gets a few quick rollups to start and an armdrag as the crowd chants for Ambrose. I love it! Sweeeeeet sequence sees them do Kofi’s multiple leapfrog spot and just missing the Trouble in Paradise kick, followed by him just barely missing again. Ambrose bails and gets out of the way as Kofi fakes a dive. Commercial time! Back in with Ambrose getting short-arm clothesline. Kofi fights back and gets a catapult and makes the babyface comeback, but the crowd kinda boos him. Back-and-forth rollup sequence leds to the SOS, but it only gets 2. They cut in with the App as Orton and Sheamus say nothing of note about The Shield. Kofi gets a springboard clothesline to take Ambrose out of the ring, but he gets tripped off the apron when he follows out. Ambrose tosses him back in and hits the bulldog driver, putting Kofi away in a somewhat anticlimactic finish, but to a big reaction. Ambrose is a big deal, people. Get used to that continuing. Pretty good match. Reigns and Rollins join Ambrose to celebrate, so Team Hell No come out to get some, and the title match is on when we return. Ambrose def. Kingston, bulldog driver – 9 min, **1/2

Tag Titles: The Shield v. Team Hell No
The match is joined in progress with Rollins running over Bryan with a shoulderblock but getting taken down with a knee to the gut and a flurry of kicks. Kane tags himself in, however, much to the chagrin of Bryan. Kane gets a nice powerslam for 2 on Rollins. King asks if we ever thought we would find ourselves in a situation in which Kane was the voice of reason. Well, maybe not, but it was a question we started asking months and months ago when Kane first started being the not crazy one in his tag team. Bryan and Kane hit the Hart Attack (awesome!) but Rollins gets an enzugiri to slow Kane down. He stupidly tries a suplex, though, and takes one from Kane. Reigns comes in and gets a slam. Rollins tags back in and gets turned inside out with a clothesline, and in comes Bryan! He kills Rollins with a release German and the running dropkick had the crowd thinking that was it. His series of kicks gets another near fall but he gets caught going up for the flying headbutt. He counters, though, and hangs Rollins in the tree of woe. Biiiiiiiig running dropkick leads to the backdrop superplex, but both men are down! Commercial break with the sides evened up. Back from break with Bryan in control of Reigns. Bryan flips out of the corner and builds momentum but runs into a big clothesline from Reigns for 2. Rollins comes back in with a backdrop on Bryan and then uses Bryan’s own Mexican surfboard to big heat. Bryan counters out, though, and starts kicking Rollins! Rollins is able to get out and mkes a tag to Reigns, whose primal yell is able to make a simple jumping stomp look impressive as hell. I did not like this guy for a while, but Reigns has really grown into his role and I enjoy when he’s in matches now. He kills Bryan with a shoulder tackle and tags out to Rollins, who taunts Bryan by calling him the weak link. Flatliner into the middle turnbuckle only gets 2, so Reigns tags back in and gets a reverse bearhug to slow it down. Bryan gets a running kick and gets the hot tag to Kane, who takes Rollins out with the usual. Reigns breaks up a pin and takes a missile dropkick and suicide dive from Bryan to pay for it. Kane hits the flying clothesline and looks to put Rollins away, but instead he decides to act like a complete idiot and tells his tag partner to stop beating up the other bad guy, which lets Reigns recover enough to spear Bryan off the apron. Inside, Rollins flies off the top with the knee strike and pins Kane. That was ONE HUNDRED PERCENT KANE’S FAULT, as they do the exact same spot in almost every one of their matches, and Kane never tells Bryan to stop. Still a good finish due to the good spots and a really, really good match. Rollins/Reigns def. Hell No, knee strike – 19 min, ***1/2

Non-title: Wade Barrett v. Fandango
The WWE App vote for this match: What does Miz get to do? Guest Ring Announcer, Guest Referee or Guest Commentator. WHAT? How silly. Obviously referee wins by landslide, as the non-choices continue. I guess Fandango is the de facto face here due to the Fandangoing thing. Miz steps in front of Barrett as he was trying to hit Fandango with a big boot, so Wade tosses Miz aside. He gets the boot, but then Miz hits him with the Skull Crushing Finale. That gives Fandango the pin. Afterward, Miz kicks Fandango in the face and counts the pin with Summer Rae’s fallen body over Fandango’s. Well, this happened. It was a fine segment, but I’m so disheartened by the fact that WWE isn’t letting guys move up to the next level or become huge stars anymore that I sit here realizing that I’m watching a bunch of future upper-midcarders at best instead of possibly watching the earlier years of the next big superstars. And that sucks. Fandango def. Barrett, Skull Crushing Finale – 2 min, NR

Shawn Michaels’ old man beard tells Cena to stop being stupid and to heal up before facing Ryback in a match like the one they have at Payback, but Cena completely disregards him. I guess he’s there for Bret Hart Appreciation Night.

Tons o’ Funk & Great Khali v. 3MB
Before the match, Drew McIntyre said “The only good part about this is the women”. Agreed. The good guys win and they sing “Happy Birthday” to Natalya. Cool! Sign in the crowd: “Happy Birthda Natalya!” Yes, Birthda. With no Y. Looks like she couldn’t fit it on there so she just scrapped it and figured nobody would notice. I DID, YOU DUMB CANADIAN GIRL. I DID AND IT MAKES YOUR PEOPLE LESS DESIRABLE TO ME AS MEMBERS OF THE HUMAN RACE. FEEL BAD ABOUT MAKING CANADA LOOK BAD. Yeah, I totally cared about this segment. ToF/Khali def. 3MB, splash – 3 min, NR

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with special guest Paul Heyman. Sign: “Fozzy played at my prom.” Nice. Heyman credits himself for giving Jericho his first big break, so Jericho claims that Heyman owes him money. Heyman’s response is great, saying that he waived his appearance fee to be on the Highlight Reel tonight. He totally glossed over it, which absolutely made the line work. I hope this leads to a Jericho v. Axel feud, but Jericho doesn’t want to talk about Axel. Heyman assumes he wants to talk about Brock, but in reality he wants to talk about CM Punk, who’s been gone for 6 weeks. Heyman tries to dodge the question about where Punk is, using the fact that he’s wearing his best and favourite suit as a point to garner respect and therefore not have to answer. Ha! Jericho wants to know where Punk is, though, and points out that the next PPV is in Chicago. They argue over whether or not Punk can be called “Best in the World”, and Jericho says that Punk can’t lay claim to that unless he takes on Y2J on PPV in Chicago. He goads Heyman into actually accepting the challenge for Punk v. Jericho in Chicago. I can deal with that. Good segment.

The Bella Twins v. Natalya & Kaitlyn
It’s Natalya’s birthday and they’re in her hometown. One guess as to what happened. The Bellas make fun of Natalya by faceteously singing “Happy Birthday” after the match. Bellas def. Natalya/Kaitlyn, 4 min – NR

Bret Hart approaches Curtis Axel and tells him to drop Heyman, but he turns him down and says that Heyman was the only guy there for him when nobody else gave him a chance. True enough.

Team Rhodes Scholars v. Randy Orton & Sheamus
God, what hell is this? All four men are in absolute purgatory. Orton hits a shoulderblock and rakes the face with his knee brace. Tag to Sheamus, but Cody backs him into their corner and tags Sandow, who runs into a powerslam for 2. Orton back in with the 10-punch in the corner and a dropkick on Sandow gets 2. Rhodes comes in and immediately gets dominated by Orton with a clotheline and suplex. Tag out to Sheamus who pounds away on the chest with forearms. THEY’RE CLUBBERIN’, TONY! Rhodes tries to come back but gets cut off and the faces continue to get all the heat on the heels, as the match goes exactly opposite of every tag match that ever got a crowd reaction. Some team work gets the heels a chance to come back, but as soon as they get the advantage we cut to a commercial. This match is weird. Sandow surprisingly still has control with a chinlock when we return and tags out to Rhodes. The heels’ control ends quickly, as Sheamus gets the Irish Curse backbreaker and tags Orton. Both Sandow and Rhodes take the snap powerslam and Orton gets the rope-hang DDT on Sandow. Cody pulls Sandow out of the ring to prevent the RKO, and it leads to Orton eating the post on the outside. That gets 2 in the ring. Heyman gives Axel a pep talk on the app. Hey, download it now! You’ll be able to install it just in time to not see the rest of the segment we’re teasing! Sandow gets 2 off the Russian legsweep and ELBOW OF DISDAIN~! and tags out to Rhodes. Orton hits him with the t-bone supex and both guys are down. Sheamus tags in and goes after Cody. Sandow gets the tag and takes the rope-trapped forearms, but the White Noise is blocked by the Disaster Kick! Orton takes Cody out of the ring and tosses him over the barricade. Sandow goes for Terminus, but Sheamus counters and White Noise leads to the Brogue Kick and the win. Match was a match. If the dirt sheets are right when they say it’s going to be Orton v. Sheamus at SummerSlam, that means we may see these guys become a proper team over the summer before an inevitable split. God, I’m so tired of both of them, but at least it would mean they would have some sort of direction. Orton/Sheamus def. Sandow/Rhodes, Brogue Kick – 16 min, **

It’s Orton v. Ambrose on SmackDown this week, which to me is going to lead to Orton and Sheamus challenging for the tag titles at Payback. They’ll be unsuccessful there and then probably unsuccessful again at Money in the Bank, then Orton will turn on Sheamus and they’ll have a match at SummerSlam. If it makes either guy even a tiny bit more interesting, I’m all for it.

John Cena v. Curtis Axel
Axel gets a headlock takeover, but Cena hiptosses out of the headlock and Axel bails into a commercial break. Back live with Axel whipping Cena into the steel steps. Axel slides back into the ring with Cena down on the outside. It’s a replay of last week! Cena makes it back in at a 9 count and gets stomped down as he comes in, then again in the corner. Big Irish whip for Axel and he hits a suplex as the crowd pays attention to what seems to be a fight somewhere in the middle level. Oops. They smartly do a rest hold spot for a while as the crowd pays attention to that. This is a disaster. Axel gets two off a clothesline to the back of the head. Cena comes back with the usual, but Axel counters the AA and hits a nice dropkick for 2. He comes off the second rope with a Bret Hart style elbow and then goes back up and does Bret’s taunt and of course misses the second try. Cena gets two off a slam, but Axel gets the Mr. Perfect necksnap for 2 and to regain control. He tries the Perfectplex but Cena counters into the STF. He gets out quickly and does get the Perfectplex, but it only gets 2. Cena comes back with clotheslines, but an ambulance siren plays. Crowd pops (presumably because they think it’s Owen), but it’s just an ambulance. Cena walks away and runs after it, and the bell rings. The back doors open, but nobody’s there. Ryback blindsides Cena from behind and looks to set him up for a spear through the set just like at the PPV, but Cena counters and tries the AA. Ryback gets out and runs away, because there’s no reason to make him look strong. Finally we get an announcement, and it’s that Axel wins by countout. Camera focuses on Cena sitting and looking annoyed, just like at WrestleMania 28. Thankfully Axel gets the last 2 seconds of TV time, which is better than he got last week. Still not good, though. Axel def. Cena, countout – 14 min, **

Overall RAW Thoughts
Nope, still don’t care. I’ll keep watching because I’m interested to see what they’re going to do with Bryan (or what they’re NOT going to do) and because I want to see if they are paying attention to the fact that people want to see more of Ambrose. Just like always, though, they’re just going to push who they want while claiming they’re listening to the fans and just outright ignoring them all the while.

COMMENTARY DISCUSSION
On Percy Watson: I’m sorry, I just don’t see it. He absolutely was very different from most everybody else they had, but that did not equate to good in my eyes. He was annoying, and I think a lot of people, as I said last week, are mistaking high energy for charisma. He was loud and moved around a lot, but his mic work was okayish and his ring work was incredibly amateurish. He is very clearly a great athlete, but to me, that ability didn’t translate at all to actually working a wrestling match. I’ve given him chances here and there ever since whatever season of NXT it was that he debuted on (season 2?) but everything seemed to always be the same. Alex Riley is indeed awesome, though, and I’d like to see him get a push one day. I completely LOATHED the guy when he first came up, but I have grown to really enjoy him.

On Curtis Axel: I know it’s always unfair to immediately bury something, but the debut of the new gimmick, in a snapshot of just that one night, was pretty horrendous. My opinion is that a truly good debut is one that you’ll remember in a positive way even if that’s the first and last time you ever see the guy. That’s not what happened last Monday. Obviously they are going somewhere with it, but first impressions are important and now instead of being ahead of the game they have to work from behind to build Axel up because they made his debut about somebody else.

Hey! It’s Lucky Cannon!

– WWE just signed a couple new fitness models. That’s on top of the two girls that AJ Grey posts pictures of posing backstage at RAW every week.

– Hey, looks like it’s possible that we may indeed see a Punk v. Brock feud after all! Word going around right now is that one idea WWE creative has for SummerSlam is for Punk to return as a face and go after Heyman and Lesnar.

– X-Pac, Konnan and Kevin Kleinrock have a new Kickstarter campaign that is hoping to raise 60 grand to open a new lucha promotion. I have a few issues with that. Number one: between the three of those motherfuckers, they don’t have $60,000 to spend? What the FUCK (other than copious amounts of drugs) could they possibly have done with their money? I guess Kleinrock does have a ton of failed projects under his belt. Or just shitty stuff. No idea if he’s made money on some of the crap he’s been behind. The idea behind the new promotion is to have a place to feature the lucha stars of tomorrow and to have a mixture of guys working lucha style and “WWE style” wrestling together to become proficient in both. There are a lot of small promotions running shows right now that would fucking jump at the chance to have three guys with something of a name in the business come in and be a part of their organizations. Why can’t these guys do that instead of having to start ANOTHER promotion?

– Apparently WWE isn’t finished cleaning up the developmental camp, and more cuts are coming, as they are said to be getting rid of guys who have been down there for a while but haven’t made the improvements needed to be ready for the big time. It’s making room for new blood and a lot of good indy talent, so I’m fine with it. I’m still bemused with the fact that they seemed to be getting ready to make strides with the women and then on top of hiring 4 girls with no wrestling background, getting rid of some good ones. I guess jerking off on TV in a feud with Paul Heyman that nobody wants to see has proven too time consuming for Triple H to bother paying any attention to the Women’s or Tag divisions that were reported to (and for a short time seemed to) be getting a new lease on life. What a mess.

– ROH is no longer booking Mike Mondo, for reasons undisclosed at this time. He broke his leg last year and instead of taking time off to let it heal he searched around for a second opinion, likely hoping that all the other doctors just had broken x-ray machines with cracks in the same exact place. He came back too early and reinjured himself a few weeks ago. I know the guy has a passion for wrestling and was probably afraid to lose the spot that he finally had earned, but he was actually becoming pretty well respected and I really don’t think his spot on the card was really in danger. Plus, good lord was he an annoying babyface.

– Hector Garza, probably best known in the states for his short time with TNA, passed away last week at the age of 43 after a short battle with lung cancer. It’s a shame he got caught with steroids (I’m honestly still a bit dubious about the veracity of all that) when he was just catching on with TNA. He could have become a semi-major player. I really enjoyed his work and it’s sad to hear of his passing.

– The newest number for the WrestleMania buyrate is about 1.04 million. That’s significantly lower than what they were expecting and also lower than the last number that was reported. It’s still not the final number, though. Who is it that is making all of these projections, anyway? And why are the numbers so different? Next week I’m expecting somebody to report that while 2 million people actually ordered the show, more than 1.5 million tuned out after learning that Curt Hawkins wasn’t scheduled for a match.

– Vince McMahon on Twitter: “The first law of communication is to know your audience and speak their language”. I do not believe that needs to be expanded upon.

– Jerry Lawler had his first match back since his heart attack in October, and the 8-person tag match concluded with him hitting a piledriver on a woman. All is right in the world again.

Posting this for no reason other than it being one of my favourite clips ever.

Late Thoughts on Extreme Rules

Jericho def. Fandango Good match to open the show with a couple of missteps, but overall no complaints. A little bit better than the ‘Mania match.

Ambrose def. Kingston (US Title) Man, have the crowd really gotten behind Ambrose or what? He has been getting some fairly strong crowd support for the past few weeks now, and there was a big pop when he hit his spike bulldog and won the belt. Match was darn good (though too short) and a lot of fun to watch. It felt good to hear how awake the crowd was for this one.

Sheamus def. Henry I completely skipped this one, which is quite sad seeing as I have been pushing for them to have a proper rematch for TWO YEARS. Oh well. It’s not my fault that Sheamus has become almost unbearable to watch outside of the ring. It makes me SO not give a shit about any time he’s in the ring, where he is still really damn good.

Del Rio def. Swagger (I Quit Match) It was a good match, but this one suffered, for me, due to the same problem as the above match. I just didn’t care. Del Rio is very stale, which stinks because I was actually pretty excited for his face fun. The problem is that they booked him in a shitty feud with Big Show and then a shittier one with Swagger, so it has fallen completely flat. I understand the criticism of this one’s stipulation, as this was likely the most tame “I Quit” match ever, but that’s what you’re going to get in the current landscape. I do echo the sentiment that it could have used a whole lot less of the ref asking if the guys quit. Would they quit after a clothesline in a regular match? No? THEN DON’T ASK THEM IN THIS ONE.

Rollins & Reigns def. Hell No (Tag Titles) Like the match featuring the other Shield member, this one was really good but sadly too short. The 7-8 minutes they got, though, was a heck of a lot of fun and the last 2 minutes as they built to the finish was awesome. Not an epic match by any means, but still a worthy end to Team Hell No’s run as the champs.

Orton def. Big Show This was another one that I didn’t care about at all, but the immense hometown pop Orton got upon his entrance kept me from fast forwarding, and their reactions only grew louder throughout the match. If it wasn’t for how on fire they were for him, I wouldn’t have even given this one a chance. I simply do not care about either guy. They barely even had a feud, as their issue with each other was ignored for a couple of weeks after WrestleMania and then when they did decide that they were running this feud they decided that instead of actually fleshing out their issue, they woud just have them arbitrarily beat each other up and mildly annoy one another. God forbid you actually let something interesting happen. I think if they would have played up the idea that Show was trying to be a team player but was hurt when Orton didn’t give him a chance and treated him like an asshole it would have been pretty compelling. Instead, Orton’s a snake and Big Show punches stuff! Yay! The match itself was good, though. Show worked his ass off.

Cena NC Ryback (LMS, WWE Title) Pretty good match, as a matter of fact. As soon as they left the ringside area and started getting dangerously close to the electrical stuff my mind went directly to the thought process that we were about to see a hokey explosion, and lo and behold we did indeed get it. Everything else leading up to it was perfectly fine, though, and I’m sure they’ll have a good rematch, even if it is an Ambulance Match. I have no problem with the outcome, either. I don’t see the point in complaining about having a No Contest in this one — the gimmick (and all like it) are dead in the water in this PG era anyway. All of the “no rules” matches are vanilla and the same, and while they certainly should have booked both men to stay down, it doesn’t really matter how it happened, just that there was no winner declared and Cena kept the belt. That’s the only part relevant to the story they’re telling.

Lesnar def. Triple H (Cage Match) It wasn’t bad (certainly less tiresome and plodding than the crap at ‘Mania) but I fell asleep and missed most of the last 6-7 minutes. Much like a lot of the stuff on this show, I didn’t actually care enough to give it a second look, so I only saw what I saw and I’m not going to lose sleep over it. Yeah, I was looking forward to the match itself in spite of being amazingly indifferent to the angle surrounding it, but it became abundantly clear very early in the match that it wouldn’t be going anywhere special in terms of a story or brutality, so my enthusiasm drained quickly as my hopes were dashed.

Overall Extreme Rules Thoughts: It was a show. Like pretty much everything WWE these days, there was nothing actively bad or embarrassing, but everything is just sort of… there. It will all be forgotten in a few weeks and everybody will move on to the next thing that will be forgotten a few weeks after that.

Get lost in all of the funny clips that show up with this one.

Pro Wrestling Collision

Matt Cage v. Aaron Epic || PWC – April 27, 2013
From Murray Peterson: “his match is the epitome of back and forth, both guys get loads of offence in. Very fast paced and highly enjoyable. There was maybe fifty people in the crowd and they were given a treat. Watch for the girl with bright pink hair on her laptop not paying attention to the match, you’ll want to punch her in the face too. I love indy wrestling and this match is why.”

For more, please visit FreeProWrestling.com

Remember NXT before they buried Bryan every week? I still don’t get it.

– Nicholas A. Marsico